Fast forward 4 weeks and what has changed? Well, the client is more frustrated. That gung-ho attitude they had last month has given way to excuse-itis. They did all of those things but honestly, nothing changed.
Gym membership? It was used 3 times that first week, then relegated to the bottom of the gym bag (which is floating around in the back of their trunk).
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| This bag is ready to go places |
New sneakers? "Well they're in my car so I can go to the gym right after work" says the client. A perfectly reasonable answer, as many of us probably keep out gym gear in the same spot.
Fresh fruits and vegetables? "I did good the first week, but then I didn't have time to go grocery shopping". Sirens are sounding in my head, because I know this story and I know where it's going: downhill, and fast.
"Then I had to finish a big project at work and had to eat lunch at my desk. I didn't have any food at home so I went to McDonalds". I know where this is going already....
"Then I got home and I was so tired I didn't work out. I didn't have any food to make so I ate ice cream. It's my go-to when I'm stressed".
I can't tell you how many times I've heard this story re-told with various excuses, foods, and seemingly logical variations. Or delusions, if you can see through the facade of excuse-itis. After hearing this story more than 2 weeks in a row I often tell clients this...
you simply aren't ready to change.
They may argue, trying to prove themselves to be upright citizens of outstanding willpower. They've even promised to change for me because of the hard work I've invested in them. While that's flattering it's not about me, it's about you. Everyone can benefit from being aware of the stages of change and applying the theory to any behaviors of goals in your life.
History of the Stages of Change
It's also called the transtheoretical model, and it's based on psychological research. The model attempts to answer how or why we change, and why some people may change while others don't.
Stages of Change Model
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| The Stages of Change, as steps. |
People in pre-contemplation aren't ready to change, they're not even pondering the possibility of changing. They may even be hostile to the concept of changing what they're doing because it's not a problem (this can be typical of smokers). The concept of change can be brought up by discussing other options to the behavior when the client brings them up; you can't be pushy or aggressive.
Example: Why should I stop eating ice cream? I love it, I don't eat a lot of it, and I'm not obese!
Stage 2: Contemplation
At this stage someone is starting to think about changing, but not quite yet. A person in contemplation is often gathering facts and weighing the pros and cons of changing their behavior but they're not quite sold on the concept. They may commit to changing in six months, but they won't commit to action just yet.
Example: OK, maybe ice cream isn't the healthiest food in the world. But I love it! I can't imagine NOT eating it after dinner.
Stage 3: Preparation
People in this stage are ready to start taking action within the next 30 days. They're willing to take small steps that can help them eradicate the bad behavior. They may make a verbal commitment to changing, like telling friends and family about their plans because they're ready to change and welcome the support.
Example: After this pint of Cookies n' Cream is gone, that's it! I'm going to stop buying ice cream and start eating fruit for dessert. I'd better tell the kids not to expect any more, and maybe I'll ask my sister how she stopped eating desserts.
Stage 4: Action
People in the action stage have changed their behavior within the last 6 months, and are working on not relapsing. This is often the biggest challenge because they've mentally committed to change and must follow through with their behaviors. Successful people will often replace one habit with another, reward steps in the positive direction, and take care to avoid triggering situations.
Example: This house has been ice cream free for 3 months! The kids sure missed it, but they can grab a cone after their soccer games anyway. I miss it too, but I can always eat yogurt or fruit instead.
Stage 5: Maintenance
Maintenance stage is success! People here have changed their behavior more than 6 months ago and have had practice saying no to temptation. They're battle-tested and have proof that they can succeed based on their previous actions. However, people in maintenance are still at risk for relapse and falling back to ANY of the stages so they should actively surround themselves with like-minded individuals, continue to engage in healthy habits, and properly cope with stress instead of falling back on unhealthy behaviors.
Example: I haven't purchased ice cream in months and I don't really crave it anymore. It's amazing how your taste buds can change over time, I never thought I'd get to the point where the thought of ice cream didn't make my mouth water.
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| The Stages of Change, as people :-) |
** Note that you can move forward and backward through the stages because they're often viewed as a continuum, although they can function as stairs in the super-motivated individual.
How do you move from one stage to the next? How do I know when I'm ready?
The process is different for everyone, and some people can jump from contemplation to action based on sheer determination. It's OK to be in precontemplation, just be aware of where you're at and WHY you're there.
Jenny's AHA moment: I wanted to run a marathon for years but I never did anything about it. It was one of my bucket list goals that sat on the bucket list, never getting crossed off the list or being forgotten about. While in coach training I volunteered myself for this very exercise with my goal of running a marathon as the desired outcome.
I said something like "I want to run a marathon because it would be a great challenge and it's on my list".
My coach said: "What are you doing to prepare for this challenge?"
"Well I lift weights but I'm not really running. I'm fit though!"
"Why don't you sign up for a race?"
"I don't know if I could finish."
"How else could you prepare for a marathon?"
"Well I could run smaller races."
"But you haven't signed up for any races. You're not running now. How badly do you want to run a marathon right this moment? On a scale from 1-10 (1 being I don't care if I ever run a race, 10 being I'll hate my life if I never get to run a marathon)?"
"Maybe a 3"
There you have it. I was talking the talk, I said wanted to do it, but actions speak louder than words. If I never ran a marathon I might be bummed out, but I didn't truly care about changing. I was in precontemplation, weighing the pros and cons but really content with where I was. It wouldn't be a problem to never run that race, in my mind.
You can only succeed when the desire to change outweighs everything else.
Now, how do you get there?
Precontemplation to contemplation
This can be the biggest step of all because you're admitting that you're unhappy with a behavior and might find relief if that behavior were gone.
Focus on:
- Gathering information
- How you feel when observing others or yourself performing the behavior
- How you might think/feel if that behavior were no longer present
- How your life might be different if you were no longer doing "it"
Contemplation to Preparation
You're thinking about changing, which may start a chain of questioning your self and your decisions regarding ANYTHING.
Focus on:
- How you'll feel when you successfully kick the habit
- Your values and how this change lines-up with them
- The positives that will come from this change
Focus on:
- All you can do to prepare physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and environmentally
- The potential trip-ups. Plan ahead, and plan for your success.
- Create a SMART plan with small goals to reward progress along the way
- The type of person you want to be, and how you'll perceive yourself when you've completed this journey
You're kicking the habit and going strong. There may be a few speed bumps along the way, but you're mentally ready for this!
Focus on:
- New habits that replace old ones, and keep doing them!
- New stimuli to keep life exciting, and to better delineate between the old and new
- Your friends, family, and everyone who supports you on your journey
Have you successfully kicked a habit using the stages of change model (knowingly or not)? I'd love to hear about it, post me a comment or find me on SeeMeFit. I can help you create your own SMART plan to get you into maintenance mode!
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